11 December 2008

Moron breaks into prison, has shock, lies down

Not content with his modest spell hit rating, our intrepid hero ventures into the brooding confines of the Violet Hold in search of epixx. We join him as the action unfolds...
Merlot: oo, dragons, it's like an indoor black morass.
Tank: ungh.
Merlot: I know it's only a prison, but I like what those mages have done with the place.
Tank: ungh.
Merlot: coming. Say what you want about the Kirin Tor, they have good taste.
Healer: goddammit Merl, get your ass over here.
Merlot: Which one's this?
Healer: core hound.
Merlot: oh god, growl time. Is it just me or are core hounds bugged? I can hear them in the next zone...
Healer: Jesus.
Tank: ungh?
Merlot: wait wait. Is this heroic?
Healer: /sigh
Hunter: wtf noob.
Rogue: I need teh gun k?
Merlot: it says he's level 82. I thought heroic bosses were three levels above?
Hunter: thatz raid buses noob.
Merlot: yes, and heroics.
Rogue: hunter, u use bowz rite? I need teh gun.
Healer: turn him around.
Tank: ungh.
Healer: heroic bosses are lvl 82. Raid bosses 83.
Merlot: when did they change that?
Healer: didn't.
Merlot: huh?
Healer: hasn't changed.
Merlot: but... so... heroic bosses are TWO levels above?
Healer: goddit.
Hunter: dur.
Tank: ungh.
Rogue: hunter, jool 4 gun.
Merlot: but...
Healer: drink up, next portal.
Merlot: that means I only need 6% hit for heroics. I've got that just in talents.
Healer: Merlot, portal.
Hunter: rogue afk.
Merlot: I haven't even stepped foot in Naxx. I probably won't till the new year. Are you telling me I get all the hit I need from talents?
Healer: MERLOT
Merlot: I've passed over crit and haste for hit gear. I've gemmed and enchanted for hit. I have 12 friggin per cent hit.
Tank: ungh!
Hunter: LOL!
Merlot: I feel sick.
Healer: are you coming?
Merlot: I need to lie down.
Healer: suck it up, we've got two more bosses.
Merlot: sorry, gotta go. It's been fun. I'm getting a headache...
Hunter: rogue afk.
Healer: jesus.
Tank: /wave.


Will said...

Wow. Just wow. That was awesome. I know how you feel.

Captain The First said...

Ghehehe... oddly hit rating seems to be a bit of a pain to come by outside of gemming.

I feel your pain though.

Freyal said...

hmmmph. To sound stupid for a second here ... aren't 'elites' considered higher level then a normal mob. Say for example you have a non elite, level 72 and an elite 72. Isn't the elite, kinda 'higher' so wouldn't you need more spell hit, to spank him and tell him he's been bad?

Or am I wrong? 0.o

Merlot said...

"...aren't 'elites' considered higher level then a normal mob..."

Ah, I'm glad you asked that question, because it gives me the chance to restore some of my credibility.

An elite mob generally hits harder and has more hit points than their normal counterparts, but all rules governed by a mob's level still count. So you need the same hit for a level 82 elite as you do normal etc.