19 January 2009

Warcraft the movie: rejected scenes #13

The cast:

Gorlak: orc warrior. Our intrepid hero, gruff-yet-honourable, driven to redeem his father's name but tortured by self doubt and the knowledge that one day his battle prowess will be put to the ultimate test.
Greatfather Nim: tauren shaman. Battle-weary self-appointed spiritual guide to the troubled Gorlak. Wields terrifying elemental powers but tortured by self-doubt and the knowledge that one day he may not be around to protect his daughter, Moosha.
Moosha: tauren apprentice shaman. Plucky teenager, eager to please but tortured by self-doubt and the knowledge that one day her healing powers will be put to the ultimate test.
Arnold: forsaken rogue. Harbours violent hatred for Gorlak's enemies, for unknown reasons. Vows loyalty to our intrepid hero but his secrecy and rotting flesh lead to tension and mistrust among the allies. Tortured by the loss of his family and the memories of his life before the plague. Has no self-doubt though.
Fluffy white bunny: Arnold's companion.

Our misfit band of adventurers arrive at the gates of Zul Morte, the ruins of an ancient and evil troll empire. The dark, foreboding city stretches far in every direction.

Moosha: Where are we?
Arnold (spitting): Zul Morte.
Greatfather Nim (troubled): I have heard of this place.
Arnold: Once, it was the greatest of troll empires. But that was before their arrogance and ignorance led them to unleash the terrifying power that consumed them. They died of stupidity. Now their dim-witted spirits haunt the ruins. But the greater evil lives on.
Moosha: Greater... evil?
Gorlak: Trolls! Why does it always have to be trolls!
Greatfather Nim: We should not be here.
Gorlak: I am not afraid.
Arnold: You will be!
Greatfather Nim: It is folly to proceed.
Gorlak: It will takes months of travelling to go around. I say we continue.
Greatfather Nim: Very well. If you insist...
Moosha: Wait! That sign says five man.
Gorlak: Huh?
Moosha: Well, there are only four of us.
(Gorlak begins to count.)
Greatfather Nim: We should find another.
Moosha: But where? This place is deserted.
Greatfather Nim: Arnold, do you know anyone?
Arnold: I know many. But none from these parts.
Greatfather Nim: Gorlak?
(Gorlak continues counting.)
Greatfather Nim: Well I suppose we could ask your mother.
Moosha: But she's a healer too.
Greatfather Nim: Then I shall commune with the spirits.
(Greatfather Nim enters a trance.)
Gorlak (grandly): There are only four of us. We should find another.
(Arnold rolls his eyes, Moosha studies the floor.)
Gorlak: We need crowd control.
Moosha and Arnold (together): What's that?
Gorlak: You know, like polymorph and freezing trap.
Arnold: I can sap as long as we're not in combat.
(Gorlak and Moosha look confused.)
Arnold: It is famed that this city once contained grand treasures. I need a new dagger.
Moosha: What is this... greater evil you spoke of?
Arnold: Oh that. An Old God is said to rule over the ruins. But he's easy when you know how.
Gorlak: Enough! It's getting late, let's just do this. Nim, come.
(Greatfather Nim stares, unmoving.)
Gorlak: Great, now we've lost the shaman.
Moosha: He is communing with the spirits.
(Arnold snorts.)
Gorlak (poking Greatfather Nim): Hey!
Greatherfather Nim (shaking the trance): I have returned from the spirits. Apparently we can do this with just four. Let's go...
(They head towards the ruins, sand whipping up in their wake.)
Arnold: Has anyone got any food?

Fade to white. End scene.

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