12 August 2009

Four things that are easier when you're drunk

  • Jousting. Don't think about it, don't even try and control it, just mash your buttons and hope for the best. It's the same strategy I used to great effect all those years ago in street fighter and mortal combat. Combos? What combos?
  • Trade chat. Caution and responsibility will do nothing to earn you respect in trade. This activity is best reserved for the second bottle of wine, when your can unleash your snobbery and sarcasm in all their glorious fury, like a verbal paladin.
  • Battlegrounds. If you really must grind that honour, at least inoculate yourself from the worst asshattery first. Really, loosing your fifth AV in succession is much more fun after a six-pack.
  • Levelling weapons. Your ham-fisted buffoonery is ideal for that long, boring slog to level a new weapon — you'll be mashing all the wrong buttons, meaning the mob lives for twice as long. If you pass out on the keyboard, even better. It'll be at 450 when you wake up.

 ...And four things to avoid
  • Fishing. A healthy amount of lubrication will do nothing to improve your aim. If you attempt to land a catch, you're liable to miss-click and run into the water. The only thing worse than a drunk is a wet drunk.
  • Herbing. Have you ever tried to pick a herb but ended up spinning madly on the spot? Not surprisingly, this does not go down well with a brain already pickled by booze.
  • Vent. It's possible to pass your written diarrhoea off on a cultural difference or lack of inflection, but if you're too wrecked to pronounce your own name you will earn no friends by dribbling and belching down Vent.
  • Auction house. You know those people who 'accidentally' post silly 4-figure buyouts for leather scraps and BoE greens? They're little shopping traps for drunks. Selling is even worse: you'll either flog all your raid consumables by mistake or put that epic item on for six copper. For the love of god, stay away.



Anonymous said...

I definitely can see the fine art of fishing as difficult under the influence (ironically, in real life you're not fishing unless you have a six pack in you).

Oh, you're the one who paid 267g for my 2g item... tyvm

candy said...

Word. Wine+Trade ch = win. For serious.

Kady said...

And here I've been leveling my weapon skills the wrong way this whole time: sober. I knew I was missing something ;)